24/7 Gratitude Practice
Gratitude isn’t just an occasional nice gesture - it’s a powerful tool for building resilience and maintaining strong relationships at all times. In every relationship you have: in the office, the community, and at home; expressing gratitude can deepen connections, foster loyalty, and develop trust.
24/7 Gratitude is my daily practice. I write down 7 things that I’m grateful for that have happened in the last 24 hours. This trains my mind and my eye to notice gratitude everywhere - on the daily - and the opportunity to express it to those on the list.
Throughout the years, the list has been in work planners, journals, devotionals, and phone notes. It isn’t formal or structured. Some days the list is simply seven words and others are seven paragraphs. Either way, it’s a wonderful way to look at the many blessings of this life. Fun to see what was happening in that snapshot of time. The smallest of things - that often slip the mind generate a gratitude that lasts a lifetime….27/4.
Bye Now,
Dr. V.
Professional Development Follow Up
When the meeting is over, the connections begin. Here are three ways that I quickly follow up after a professional development meeting.
Type My Notes. My notes are taken on the agenda or my iPad. If you return to the pages for inspiration, congrats!, but I never do. I always take my hand written notes and type them out narratively on my computer. This is an amazing way to reflect on the session and add context to the message.
Email Business Cards. After taping the business card in my planner on the session’s date, I email every person who gave me their card. This is a friendly way to save their information in my contacts and provides them with all of my information. If you don’t have your direct contact information including in your email in the email signature - add it now!
Write & Mail Notecards. Here is the magic! I spend the next day hand writing notes to every person on the agenda. If the name is on the agenda, they are getting a note of appreciation from me. This is super special for speakers to receive a note thanking them for their expertise, time, and support. My typed notes are helpful so I can add a line from their presentation that impacted me. Adding my business card provides them with my information, if they’d like to contact me. If you are the event planner, it’s a nice touch to provide the speaker’s business mailing address - sometimes finding their work address takes longer than writing the note.
These are three quick ways to make the most out of your professional development sessions. Take the time to follow-up and start building strong relationships.
Yours truly,
Dr. V
Roadtrips & Resilience
As a new year starts and I'm working on a new professional development focused on Resilience - I’ve been thinking a ton about my own definition of resilience. The big difference between not stopping versus never quitting. There is such a huge difference. Not stopping quickly turns to burnout, exhaustion and loss of passion. Instead, never quitting means there may be times I need to pause, or redirect, or refuel before bouncing back. This definition of never quitting means I may need to change things completely but it keeps me motivated, learning, and growing.
Think about it. If we decided on a cross country drive together. Say leaving California and driving to New York. If our mindset was not stopping - how far do you think we could make it without stopping for fuel, sleep, or food. Could we do it? What if we decided from the get go that we are only driving one highway and not taking any detours. What if we stopped at the first closed road or detour - just stopped in our tracks, not going any farther. Would we leave without having google maps, having insurance, or our phone to call someone if we were to break down? What if we didn’t stop to enjoy the scenery or eat at a local diner, not even stop to take pictures for the memories. Would we be constantly comparing ourselves to every other driver on the road? Worrying that the other vehicles are driving faster and start comparing ourselves. Making ourselves feel terrible because they pass us. Think about our exhaustion if we never stopped. How far could we really make it before we burned out?
Instead, we set out on the trip knowing that we need sleep, food (good food - not just the gas station food, though I’ll always take a Chester’s Fried potato log). We know we’ll need to refuel and rest. No way we could make our trip if we didn’t refuel or pause to sleep - we would burn out. Not questioning the detour that takes us around a closed road or construction. We keep going. These things are not causing us to quit the drive rather increasing the possibility of seeing something grand. Having our phone with directions and all the numbers of people we could call if we got tired, wanted to catch up, have a flat, or to share the excitement of the journey. No competition on the road - no road rage but being a friendly driver. Letting others merge in front of us or driving in the right lane when we aren’t passing. Not comparing ourselves to these faster drivers - instead staying content in our own lane while having gratitude for the moment. Most importantly, we would take the time to enjoy the scenery, learn about the small towns that reduce the speed limit, take in the local culture, and broaden our horizons.
Life and the goals we have in it are cross country drives. Our mindset must be one of never quitting verses the impossible expectation of never stopping.
See you out there - on the road of life! 😎
Afternoon Tea in the Peabody Hotel.
If you’re in the mood for an elegant afternoon tea, treat yourself at Chez Philippe in the Peabody Hotel. An easy drive to Memphis from Jonesboro, and valet parking included with the tea service, makes arrival hassle-free. Be sure to have a $5 bill ready to tip the valet, and you're all set to begin an enchanting afternoon.
Chez Philippe offers an unforgettable afternoon tea experience that pairs Southern hospitality with traditional English elegance. Afternoon tea has long been a cherished tradition in many grand hotels around the world, and Chez Philippe carries on this custom. Afternoon tea became fashionable in England in the late 1600s, serving as a refined time to entertain friends or conduct business over a selection of teas and light bites.
Attending afternoon tea at Chez Philippe calls for stylish yet classic attire. For the ladies, a dress is always appropriate, and pairing it with a fascinator or hat adds a lovely touch of tradition and charm. While there’s no strict dress code, tea is an event steeped in etiquette, so a polished and sophisticated outfit is fitting. Men will feel comfortable in a collared shirt, sport coat, and nice slacks. No jeans or sneakers for anyone in the party.
High Tea vs. Afternoon Tea: What’s the Difference?
One common misconception is the interchangeability of "high tea" and "afternoon tea," but they are distinctly different experiences. Afternoon tea, like the one at Chez Philippe, is a light and refined affair traditionally served between lunch and dinner. It features delicate tea sandwiches, scones, and pastries all served on lower tables between cushioned chairs. High tea, on the other hand, was historically a heartier meal for working-class people, often served in the early evening with more substantial foods like meat pies and bread at a high top table or bar. Afternoon tea is all about elegance, whereas high tea is more like your favorite comfort food.
The Setting: Elegance and Attention to Detail
As you settle in the elegant dining room, you’ll find the table impeccably set: tea cup, saucer, small plate and large plates, and stemmed water glass all arranged neatly. Adding to the charm is a glass honey pot with fresh honey and wooden comb dipper, a bowl of sugar cubes with silver serving tongs, a small creamer for your tea, and elegant cloth napkins. It’s a setting that invites you to relax and immerse yourself in the experience. Spend the afternoon with a dear friend or two.
The menu offers a variety of fine teas, including the blended white tea we chose, that the menu described as a delicate blend of peach blossom, orange and tangerine oils. For those celebrating or just wanting an extra touch of indulgence, champagne can also be added to your tea experience. We chose the extra touch!
Afternoon tea at Chez Philippe is a three-course array of savory and sweet delicacies. The first course arrives on a three-tiered stand, and each tier offers something special: A cucumber sandwich with pimento cheese, tomato, and crème fraîch start on the top tier. Moussed salmon on pumpernickel, garnished with Peruvian pepper was rich and savory on the second tier. A croissant filled with curry chicken salad, along with a crostini topped with prosciutto and a melon ball were the perfect blend of savory and sweet for the bottom tier.
Next comes the scone course, where a cranberry drop scone is served warm alongside butter and jam. The scone is delightfully crumbly yet soft, and pairs perfectly with a fresh cup of tea.
The final course is another three-tiered selection, this time featuring sweet treats that are as beautiful as they are delicious: A bite-sized layered mint chocolate cake, a delicate pistachio macaron, accompanied by a pistachio sponge cake topped with pistachio mousse—pure decadence on the middle tier. The pecan shortbread bites finished the third course with Southern style and nostalgia.
Every bite is a testament to the care and craftsmanship of the Peabody’s Pastry Shop, and while the portions are refined, they’re surprisingly filling. So gladly accept the option to take some treats home to savor later.
If you’re looking to immerse yourself in an elegant experience, afternoon tea at Chez Philippe is the perfect way to spend the day. Tea is served Thursday through Sunday from noon to 3:30 PM. It’s a wonderful outing for a special occasion, a birthday, or just a leisurely afternoon treat. Reservations are highly recommended as it’s a popular event in the city. Enjoy!
Bye Now.
Dr. V
Part 1: Invitations, RSVP, Dress Code, & Arrival.
When attending a formal dinner, whether for business or pleasure, it’s essential to remember that etiquette begins long before you arrive at the table. From the moment you receive the invitation, expectations are set, and how you handle each detail can leave a lasting impression. In this first part of our Dinner Questions Answered series, I’ll cover some of the most common questions you might have when preparing for a dinner event. From responding to the invitation to knowing where to sit, this will guide you through each step with confidence.
Do I have to respond to an invitation?
Yes, expectations start before the event. This is your first impression.
RSVP - is French for Respondez s’il vous plaît - respond, if you please. It is perfectly polite to graciously decline the invitation, especially if you know that you absolutely cannot make it. It is better to decline (and feel no need for explanation) than keep the host guessing on the attendance number. If you accept and then something pops up, let your host know sooner than later.
What should I wear?
If you are invited to a business dinner, then business professional dress rules apply. You should always be modest, tidy, and appropriate. If you are visiting a new restaurant, looking at their tagged photos on social media should give you an idea of the vibe. It’s always a great idea to keep a fresh dress, blouse, or jacket in your office for after-hours events.
The style and formality of the invitation also send a message about the dress code. For example, if the invitation invites you to dinner on a Saturday at seven o’clock in the evening October twenty-seventh, it likely signals a formal event. On the social side, if it's a theme night, do your best to participate—even if it’s something small. Attending without any effort can send a rude message. Play along, if only a little.
As I approach the table, where do I sit?
Look for place cards. Never switch your name card to sit by a friend. Even if you’d enjoy one person more than the others, the host has the creative right to choose each guest’s seat. If there are no place cards, the host directs where guests should sit. Wait patiently behind a chair until you are directed by the host. If you attend as a married couple, don’t be surprised if your name cards are split. This gives each of you the opportunity to meet new tables mates and not talk over one another. Or the worst, arguing about the smallest details of a story.
If the meal is purely business, the best seat goes to the guest of honor.
Should a man hold a chair for a woman?
I say YES because I’m a Southern woman. You are responsible for the people sitting to your right and left, or anyone who needs it. Sliding into a chair while wearing a dress and heels can often be cumbersome. A great approach for men is to ask permission: “May I get that chair for you?” rather than demanding it. Giving the lady the opportunity to politely accept or decline. Gender aside, be courteous to those sitting close to you, and always be thoughtful when someone joins or leaves the table.
What’s the number one question I should ask myself if I don’t know what to do?
“If I were watching myself, would I be grossed out?” Avoid finger-licking, noise-making, and talking with your mouth full. If you’re unsure how to eat something, observe others, particularly the host. Always stay on the safe side and use the utensils before your fingers.
Why do table manners matter?
Knowing table manners shows respect world-wide whiling being comfortable, confident, and impressive. Instead of worrying about what to do, you can focus on enjoying the conversation and the meal. This is especially important in professional settings, where how you carry yourself at the table can reflect on your ability to represent the company.
What is the number one mistake I can make that will blow the entire opportunity?
There is only ONE, and that is being rude to the service professionals. Treating waitstaff with respect is a key indicator of your overall professionalism. If you can’t show appreciation to those serving you, it raises red flags about how you’ll treat your colleagues and clients.
As we dive deeper into the nuances of dining etiquette over this 10-part series, remember that small actions can leave the biggest impressions. Whether it’s responding to an invitation promptly or showing courtesy to others at the table, each detail contributes to how you are perceived by others. Stay tuned for Part 2: Napkins. They are your friend through the entire service.
Bye Now.
Dining Questions Answered: a 10-part blog series
Welcome to "Dining Questions Answered," a 10-part series designed to transform your dining experiences from awkward to elegant. Whether you’re attending a formal business dinner or a casual gathering, feeling confident in your dining etiquette can make a world of difference. This series aims to introduce the often intimidating world of formal dining, providing you with the knowledge and skills to make a lasting impression.
In each blog, I’ll answer the most common dining questions, from the moment you receive an invitation to the final goodbye at the end of the meal. You’ll learn the ins and outs of navigating place settings, holding utensils like a pro (both Continental and American styles), and mastering courses from soup to dessert.
Here’s what you can expect from the series -
Part 1: The Invitation, RSVP, Dress Code, and Arrival - Kick things off by discussing the importance of responding to invitations and understanding dress codes. You'll learn the significance of first impressions and how to approach a dining table with poise.
Part 2: Napkins - What should you do with your napkin when you sit down or excuse yourself from the table? Clarify this often-overlooked aspect of dining etiquette.
Part 3: The Place Setting - How can you tell which fork or knife to use? Breaking down place settings and the proper order of utensil use.
Part 4: Holding the Utensils - Discuss common mistakes in utensil handling and demonstrate the correct ways to eat with a fork and knife.
Part 5: Soup Course - From how to use a soup spoon to etiquette around tipping the bowl.
Part 6: Eating Bread & Rolls - Learn the art of bread etiquette, including how to identify your bread plate & water glass. Along with how to butter each bite and pass the butter.
Part 7: Salad Course - Navigating salad forks, passing dressings, and managing cherry tomatoes will be discussed. Introducing the exciting possibility of the optional sorbet course.
Part 8: Main Course - Address when to start eating, seasoning the dish, what to do if you don’t like your meal and removing a bad bite from your mouth.
Part 9: Dessert - How to handle your utensils and the right way to respond if coffee is served.
Part 10: End of Meal - Wrap up with tips on thanking your host and understanding tipping etiquette.
Bonus: Common Faux Pas - End the series with a fun yet informative look at the most frequent dining mistakes and how to avoid them.
I’m excited to guide you through this dining journey, helping you shift from feelings of intimidation to confidence. By the end of this series, you’ll feel prepared and eager to embrace any dining occasion with charm and grace.
Bye. Now.
Topics to Avoid at Networking Events
Networking events are a time to connect and enjoy the company of others. However, navigating conversations requires a bit of finesse.
Here’s a list of topics to avoid.Keeping your networking enjoyable and beneficial.
Avoid Controversial Topics: Steer clear of discussion around politics, religion, and personal beliefs. These subjects can quickly become heated and divisive, leading to uncomfortable situations. Instead, focus on neutral topics like hobbies, travel, or recent events that are universally relatable.
No Money Talk: Discussions about salaries, personal finances, or investments can come off as intrusive or boastful. Money is sensitive subject, and it’s best to avoid it altogether in social settings. If the conversation shifts in that direction, gently change the subject to something lighter. People are not interested in the receipt of your life.
Don’t Gossip: Resist talking about others, especially in a negative light. Gossiping can damage reputations and relationships, and it reflects poorly on your character. “Don’t ever tell anyone outside of the family what you are thinking.” If you are gossiping about your current workplace, boss, and colleagues - it leaves the impression you will do the same if hired for the next position.
Health Issues & New Diets: Avoid discussing personal health problems or asking about others’ medical conditions. These conversations are uncomfortable and may not be appropriate for a casual social setting. If health comes up, keep it general and non-specific.
Personal Relationships: Be mindful when discussing personal relationship, whether your own or others. Avoid prying into others’ love lives or sharing intimate details about your own.
Yours truly,
Dr. V.
Turning an Introduction into a Solid Contact
Networking events are perfect opportunities to expand your professional circle but how do you turn a simple introduction into a solid, lasting connection?
Here’s how:
Have a Strategy - Do your research on the key contacts you want to meet. Read the company website or newsletter for recent accomplishments and projects. Initially stick to published topics in their bio. Too much research from personal social media pages my come across as creepy.
Be Genuinely Curious - People can tell when you’re truly interested. Ask open-ended questions about their projects and interests. This shows respect and also helps you find common ground.
Share Your Value - After learning about them, it’s your turn. briefly introduce what you do, but focus on how you can be of value to them. Position yourself as a resource.
Exchange Details - Don’t wait until the end of the conversation, if the interaction is going well, and you have offered your value - share your business card or suggest connecting online right away.
Follow Up - The real magic happens after the event. Send a personalized follow-up message within the week and reference something from your conversation to show you were actively listening. Provide any resources you agreed to sharing.
Remember - the goal is to build a relationship, not just collect business cards.
Yours Truly,
Dr. V
Memorable Introductions
Connecting people is crucial for developing a professional presence and social network. Knowing how to do it effectively makes you comfortable and confident.
You’ve heard me say it and I will say it again. When meeting someone for the first time, introduce yourself with your full name and role or title. This provides context and helps create positive name recognition. When introducing others, always use a person’s first and last name, along with any appropriate titles. It’s best to wait until a person gives you permission before using their first name only. Make an effort to remember names and use them during the conversation. This shows attentiveness and respect.
When introducing people to each other, always introduce the person of higher rank or seniority first. Remember to say their name first. Also, include a relevant detail when introducing two people, mention something about each of them to help them connect. For example, “Sara, this is John, our HR manager who has done an excellent job with our recruitment process. John, this is Sara, our new software developer with a background in community colleges.” After introductions, engage in light conversation to establish rapport. Ask a simple question or comment on a shared interest to keep the conversation flowing smoothing.
At some point you might forget a person’s name. Just confess your momentary lapse of memory with “I’m sorry, your name has escaped me, could you please remind me.” It may be embarrassing, but not introducing someone will look much worse than a case of forgetfulness.
Remember to smile when you introduce people, this small gesture can make you appear friendly and approachable.
Yours truly,
Dr. V.
Revamping Your Professional Image
It’s that time of year when everyone is excited about that “first day of school outfit”. It is a great time to give your professional image a boost. Refreshing your image at work can lead to increased confidence for new opportunities.
Here are a few ways to revamp your professional presence:
Adapt Your Image: Wardrobe adaptability is important for a variety of situations. Keep a fresh shirt, jacket, blazer, heels, or flats in your office or car for a quick costume change. An emergency kit with toothbrush, hair spray, deodorant, and fresh lipstick make a huge difference at the end of the day. Safety pins and bobby pins have saved me hours of embarrassment in the past.
Body Language: The way you carry yourself, make eye contact, and use gestures conveys a lot about your thoughts and emotions. Non-verbal clues are powerful communicators. They can either reinforce your confidence or send conflicting signals. Being aware of your body language ensures it aligns with the professional image you aim to develop. Maintaining good posture while sitting and standing, offering a firm handshake, actively listening, nodding to indicate your understanding, and smiling create an encouraging atmosphere.
Communication Skills: Effective communication is key. Practice clear, concise, and transparent communication that is based on consideration, respect, and honesty. Become mindful of your tone, body language, and active listening skills that build credibility when engaging with clients and colleagues.
Continuous Learning: Stay updated with industry trends and consistently seek ways to challenge and improve your skills. Attend workshops, webinars, and conferences. This not only boots your knowledge but also shows your commitment to professional growth. Start listening to podcasts, set Google alerts for your industry key words, join groups on LinkedIn that are having rich conversations. Challenge yourself to take on responsibility that pushes your comfort zone.
Digital Image: Your digital voice extends beyond emails, texts, and social media platforms. Enhance your digital image by sharing (not over-sharing) information that is helpful. Send an agenda with meeting links and calendar invites at least a week before the meeting. This allow teams members to prepare, optimize discussion time, and document decisions and actions. Extremely friendly to send again the morning of the meeting as a reminder. Also, share articles that you think would be helpful to someone else. Stay very far away from chain emails or replying to all.
Positive Attitude: Maintain a positive and proactive attitude. Be approachable, offer help when needed, and handle challenges with compassion. A positive demeanor can significantly enhance your professional image. Smile - it’s your personal business card. Essential for creating a professional image. A positive attitude involves being optimistic, confident, and enthusiastic about your work. It helps inspire others, build morale, and foster a sense of collaboration.
Punctuality Matters: Always be on time, whether it’s for meetings, deadlines, or follow-ups. Punctuality shows respect for others’ time and highlights your credibility. Call or email when you say you will. Don’t leave people guessing. Even if you don’t have all the information by the end of the week - you should still email with the honest update. Punctuality extends to emails, phone calls and virtual meetings as well.
Stay Organized: Keep your workspace tidy and manage your tasks efficiently. An organized environment reflects a disciplined and focused professional. It builds trust that you will show the same consideration and respect to your client’s information as you keep your own business organized. This a great time to create new email inbox folders and files to be organized in the upcoming months.
Update with the Classics: Invest in classic, well-fitting pieces that reflect your style and the industry. Choose versatile items that you can mix and match. I always like to have a mix of solid colors and printed pieces. Also, a big fan of dresses because it’s only one piece and not layers, especially in this heat. Consider your shoes and accessories as well. They should be in good conditioned and updated.
Virtual Meetings: Mind your background. Make sure your background is tidy and professional. Avoid any distractions that may take away from the professionalism of the meeting. I’ve known candidates not getting the job because of the interruptive barking dogs or the bookshelf of empty whiskey bottles as the backdrop. Stay still while on camera. Many of us have swivel chairs and don’t realize we swivel out of pure habit. This can be very distracting during meetings. Also, pay attention to the person speaking during the meeting. Others can tell when you aren’t paying attention or working on something else.
Revamping your professional image is an ongoing process. Adopt these tips consistently, and you’ll notice a positive transformation in how you’re perceived at work.
Bye now,
Dr. V.
Learning to Travel
One of the best things you can do for your personal and professional development is learn to travel. Fortunately, I was given the opportunities to travel early in my career as a faculty member. I joined an established hallway of professionals who had added great service to the profession by attending, speaking, and serving at state and national conferences. This meant I was strongly encouraged (volun-told) to attend, learn, network, present, judge, moderate, and run for office. I learned so many skills throughout these adventures.
I didn’t fly much as a kid so I was literally learning on the fly. Working on my master’s degree at the time also had me flying from Little Rock to Dallas - a great beginner flight. I’ll never forget the night in Dallas when my flight was completely cancelled, and this was before the days of getting a text message alert. Not having a clue what to do, I’m guessing it was written all over my face because a precious lady grabbed my hand and taught me to rush to the flight screen and the next gate to get our names on a standby list. She even fed me airport Applebees while we waited. I was barely 21yo at the time and absolutely frazzled plus grateful that I failed to get her name and contact info. These days, she’d be receiving a very gracious hand written note. I’ve thought of her often and hope I can extend the same compassion to a grad student in the future.
My biggest fear was always being stuck overnight in an airport, so I also learned that if traveling alone - I wanted to lay over in a city close enough that I could drive home if necessary. Again, why I always pack in a carry-on, to have possession of all my belongings in case I need to jump planes, trains, or automobiles. Possibly, also my gypsyness but that’s a different blog all together.
Avoiding nights in an airport leads me to another great lesson learned on a work trip. Always look and approve your flight times if someone else is making the arrangements for you. Try to get morning flights if available because as flights get delayed or bumped - you still have a decent chance of getting home in the same day. Once, in new job, the procurement officer made my travel arrangements for a conference. The later flight was cheaper but it was delayed and I got to Atlanta airport at 11pm only barely making a flight home. I literally took off my flip flops and ran. Grocery store feet style to the gate. I’ve worn sneakers ever since. If you are traveling alone for work and responsible for your own safety - approve the travel times of your flights which should also take in consideration the times you will be ordering a car service, taxi, or walking in parking lots. Traveling during the day immediately removes a few areas of high stress.
In recent years, I’ve learned that you can take food from home on the plane. No liquids, only food. It goes easily through security. I usually slice fruit, make a wrap, or chickpea salad that easily goes in a clear container with a lid. Using clear containers removes any question of what is inside. Whatever makes getting through security easier!! Bananas and protein bars are always in my backpack. My stomach isn’t always ready for food early in the morning yet I need something more that packaged snacks. Taking my own food for longer flights is a game changer.
PSA - choose foods that are odorless, not messy, and don’t cause a scene.
Yours Truly,
Dr. V.
Download the airline app.
Try to get morning flights, if available.
Pack your own food.
Working the Room
The only way to get better at networking is to: practice, practice, practice. If you want to become a better conversationalist - have more conversations. Attend events - alone - and push yourself to connect with other professionals. Here are a few tips:
Practice introducing yourself: always first and last name. This is the most important step in building a personal brand.
Stand up to meet and greet people. Especially any outside person that approaches the table. Look them in the eye; shake hands and say your name. Repeat their name back to them so you are certain to get it correct.
Make it a point to speak to others. Read the company newsletter or check the social media pages for any current events and celebrations. Very endearing to others when you congratulate them on an accomplish or project.
ALWAYS seek out the new members. They will be eager to talk and forever remember those who spoke to them when they were new.
Invite others to join the conversation. Ask their opinions. Especially if you see they aren’t yet engaging with the group.
In biz social situations, the emphasis is on building the relationship. Avoid talking about the nuts and bolts of business. If you would like to visit with someone- ask to make an appointment. If someone starts talking shop - you can politely ask them to meet with you later.
Yours Truly,
Dr. V.
24/7 Professionalism
Summer is a time to cut footloose and fancy free. The sun is shining and fun is calling our names. Our cares blow away in the wind, but we should not let our professionalism leave with them. Business etiquette gives us the tools to make the best decisions in every situation, building confidence and authenticity with ease.
Here are three truths that the best professionals understand - in every season of their career. They are simple yet transformative for professional development.
Actions outside of work matter. The world is getting smaller and smaller - do I have to say social media aloud? 24/7 professionals always hold themselves accountable. They understand the way they treat others in the community is a direct reflection on their image and their company. Professionalism isn't a temporary tattoo. You must fully commit.
Purely social situations can instantly become a business situation. On a Friday evening after a hard workweek. we all like to kick back and relax with family and friends. Once seated in a local restaurant, you realize the couple next to you are owners of the company you've been preparing to pitch as clients. Right then and there, the evening became a business social event and you are instantly representing your company. The one drink rule immediately applies as you become more aware of your conversation topics that may be overheard. You may never actually talk business with your table neighbors, but you've planted the seed of professionalism for future contact. (optional bonus points - this is a great time to use your personalized stationary and send a hand written note the next day)
Human attention is a gift. We are constantly bombarded with information at any given moment. Professionalism sets a solid foundation of trust and credibility. The best professionals give their full attention to their work relationships and fully respect the attention they receive in return.
These are simple reminders that perspective matters. Successful professionals understand they are always developing their career reputations. The more intention and effort given to your authentic self, paired with the skills of business etiquette creates a future so bright - we all need shades.
Yours Truly,
Dr. V.
Polished. Polite. & Your Full Attention.
Etiquette gives you the skills of proper behavior and you have the power to make them into an art. Here are three places to start: your professional appearance, vocabulary, and giving your full attention.
Polished: examine your appearance and how you are presenting yourself to the world. Business professional workwear isn’t my favorite and if you wear it every day, at some point there will be days when you absolutely hate your outfit. Polishing your professional appearance isn’t about fashion – it's about appropriateness. Etiquette always equals appropriateness.
TIP: Here’s the best tip of style advice I can give you – learn to iron! This is more and more a lost art, but it makes a show stopping difference in your appearance. Plus, it gives credibility to your attention to detail. It’s difficult for potential clients to trust your word of “attention to detail” when your clothes are a wrinkled mess. It sends a strong message of how you might handle their business.
Clothes should fit well and not be faded or torn. Shoes should be polished and appropriate. Ladies, this isn’t the time to wear your new dinner heels. Work heels are a thing – buy a pair. Your sensibility will greatly outshine, especially if you are offered a tour of a campus or building.
Consider the condition of your business accessories. What are you carrying? Is your briefcase, ipad cover, or notebooks old and torn or stained. Your professional belongings also send a message about you – make it a good one. You may still love your college freshman backpack but keep it for camping trips. It’s time to have sleek accessories.
Use Your Childhood Vocabulary: words have power, and we must become intentional of what we say and how we say it. Begin using the polite words we learned as children. Please, Thank You, and You’re Welcome are free though golden coins of a rich company culture.
Yes. Use the word yes – not yea, yep, ok, K. Slang terms should be reserved for friends and family time. Using the correct language immediately polishes your appearance and presentation.
I’m a fierce defender of the souther accent. If you can’t hear me – but take my word. My southern accent is thick, and I’ve never worked to change it. Even when I’ve traveled nationally to present. Though I realized quickly that my accent couldn’t afford to use slang. The focus should never be diluting your accent rather developing your vocabulary and articulation.
TIP: keep your Gs. Instead of goin’, doin’, walkin’, talkin’….are you gettin’ the point? Also, the days of the week end in day, not dee. Sunday instead of Sundee, Mondee, Tuesdee…
Watch your mouth. Foul language is consistently a top reason that executives terminate employees. Challenge yourself to keep your conversations rated G.
Give Your Full Attention
Give your full attention in meetings. It may be very tempting to email or text during a meeting but it sends a strong message to your team and the client. Pay attention to keeping eye contact instead of reading every notification that comes to your phone or watch.
Build credibility in your ability to give your full attention and remembering the details. A person can quickly evaluate your listening ability based on the quality of questions you ask during the follow-up.
yours truly,
Dr. V.
Wine Basics
Choosing a wine from an expansive menu can be overwhelming. Here are a few simple guidelines to make the experience or ordering & drink your wine enjoyable.
Most importantly - Learn what you like & Drink what you like.
Whether its red, white, rose, or sparkling - explore different types of grapes - known as varietals
Pay attention to Growing Regions. When you find a wine you enjoy - pay attention to the region where the grapes are grown and produced, as different regions have their own signature styles. If you don’t see the wine you enjoy - choosing one from the same region may be similar.
If you don’t know - ASK. Ask your server to recommend something similar to what you enjoy - or something new to pair with the meal.
For beginners looking to explore the world of wine. Here’s an overview of what you’ll likely see on the menu.
RED WINE
Cabernet Sauvignon. Known for bold flavors and full-bodied nature. Often ages in oak barrels, which adds to its smooth texture.Grown in regions of Napa Valley California, and Bordeaux France
Merlot. Popular for its smooth velvet texture and fruity flavors. Grown in regions around the world including France, Italy & the United States.
Pinot Noir. Known for its light to medium body and delicate flavors. Originated from the Burgundy region of France. Grown nicely in the Oregon region of the US.
Red Blends. For those who prefer a sweeter taste, a red blend could be a good choice. Made from a combination of different grape varietals, blended together to create a unique flavor profile. Look for regions of Bordeaux, France and California’s Napa Valley.
WHITE WINE
White wine is made from the fermentation of white or green grapes. The color can range from pale yellow to deep gold. Known for their lighter and crips varieties.
Chardonnay. Produced in various styles ranging from crisp & refreshing to rich & buttery. Grown in different wine regions around the world leading to a wide range of flavors.
Sauvignon Blanc. Typically light to medium-bodied . Grown in various regions around the world, including France, New Zealand, & California
Pinot Grigio. For those who prefer a lighter-bodied wine with crispness and fruity flavors. Originated in Italy.
Moscato. Known for its sweet & fruity flavors for its light and refreshing taste. One of the world’s oldest grape varieties, with origins in Greece.
Sparkling White Wine. Popular type of sparkling white wine is Champagne, which hails from the Champagne region of France. Prosecco, originating from Italy is another well-loved option. Served chilled and consider using flute glasses to enhance the bubbles
Remember - the best wine is the wine you enjoy.
Cheers!!
Questions are the Magic of Conversations
There's only so much you can say about the weather before the conversation becomes a bore. How do you have small talk without always talking about yourself or standing in awkward silence? Avoiding that awkward moment when you've been talking so much about yourself (out of nervousness) that the conversation ends & you haven't asked about the other person. Now, you’re feeling exhausted and embarrassed. Or the silence becomes so thick you can’t breathe so you quickly walk away.
Either one isn't intentionally rude - but knowing what questions to ask that keep the dialogue moving can work magic on a conversation.
What to ask next? Ask yourself first, what are you interested in these days? What have you been wanting to know more about? Interested people are always seeking to learn and grow their knowledge base. Find something that person is doing that you want to know more about. Start asking questions.
Say, Travel. Summer is a great time to ask about recent or upcoming adventures. Where did they go? Stay? Eat? Like? Dislike? Wish they could've done? or Would do again? Find out these things. Ask thoughtful questions. Focus on that person being the most interesting person you've talked to recently. Treat them as such. Give them your full attention and ask questions that allow them to express themselves.
Conversations begin to flow easily once you’ve created a dialogue of comfort and trust. Allowing the another person to share their thoughts and feelings with you. Watch a person's face and see them light up when you ask thoughtful questions about their passions and hobbies.
If you are visiting or new to an area, ask what they enjoy doing locally. You can build great connections with people about their community. You can learn about events and groups that may not be in your main stream. Become interested in your community and the people making a difference.
Tip: often, if people ask you about something, they are eager to talk about how they relate to the subject. Before you give them a novel's worth of details about your latest adventure. Ask about their's first. You now have the opportunity to listen, learn, and to be interested. Listening is as important a skill in communication as talking.
You may never get a chance to share the amazing highlights of your latest adventure but your conversation mate leaves having shared their's and thinking you were a great conversationalist. Shift your mindset around small talk from: what am I going to talk about to what can I ask about next.
Yours Truly,
Dr. V.
How my doctorate led to etiquette and now a blog newsletter.
My terminal degree is in Educational Leadership. This meant years and years of reading research studies on leadership - typically leadership in higher education. I was radiology faculty when I started the degree and was a dean of students when I graduated with the doctorate of education (Ed.D.)- five years later. Picking up a specialist in education (Ed.S.) in community college administration along the way. All to say, I’ve read a lot about leadership! My next journey was business etiquette trainer licensure through the Emily Post Institute. This added a significant layer of understanding the expected behavior of leaders.
The leadership framework that I adopted for myself was The Leadership Challenge. I did not seek out this framework on my own. It wasn’t even my idea to adopt a leadership framework. The thought had never even occurred to me. Up until this point, I had always been an engaging faculty member and followed my clinical handbook policies - those had been my frameworks for professionalism. Then I was interviewed by Dr. Sandra Massey, chancellor, for the dean of students position. She shared her chosen leadership framework with me and gave me a copy of the book. I was blown away by her professionalism and class. This set me on the path to finding my own framework. This was the first of many wonderful leadership behaviors that I was blessed to witness from her during my time in that position.
This experience came during a time when I was narrowing the research topic for my dissertation. This requires exhaustive hours of reading research studies and other published dissertations. I began looking at dissertations that had used a structured framework assessment. Though I read many, I found ONE. The one. The one that I adopted as my personal leadership framework. The one that I used for my own research methodology. The one I defended before graduation. The one that set the foundation for all the leadership courses and programs I’ve built. Most importantly, it is the one that is based on daily behaviors.
Yes, I said it. Daily Behaviors! The Leadership Challenge framework is based on the consistent daily behaviors of great leaders. It isn’t based on style, theory, personality, color, or inner spirit animal. It is focused on how you behave each day and how you treat the people around you. I used to begin many of my leadership presentations with a slide that said “Leadership is People Work”. It’s the truth. Ask any leader and they’ll tell you that the majority of the position is spent interacting with people. More time building and repairing relationships than the technical aspects of the job. Those technical aspects often come easier than the people work. Interesting once you realize that the “soft skills” are often the hardest.
Daily behaviors of consideration, respect, and honesty are the pillars of business etiquette. It became so obvious to me once I saw the significant overlap. Yes, most people often think of etiquette as the stuffiness of formal events and worrying about which fork to use. Those are only a small portion of every day business etiquette. The focus on daily behaviors in role modeling, communication, and showing appreciation are my favorite things to teach. I want everyone to be equipped with skills that can be started immediately - with the next interaction you have.
The world of leadership style and theory can be daunting for many. The assessments can provide only a sliver of insight and faking it will only get you so far. Whether you are starting on your leadership journey or have been rocking and rolling for a while - sharpening your daily behaviors and an understanding of what actions you can take today to strengthen relationships is the definition of success for any leader.
Truth be told, I have several degrees and careers floating through the “cloud”. Writings, notes, ramblings, and quotes all ready to be shared in hopes they will enrich your daily behaviors.
Bye Now.
Informal Place Setting
Setting an informal table can be easy for every night. Start with placemats, whether rectangle or circle. I prefer the look of circle placemats but I also like the extra room the rectangle mats give. I like for all my silverware to be on the placemat and not on the table or tablecloth. Word to the wise, it’s not a good idea to wash and dry your new placemats the day of a dinner party. I ruined a set of 8 - one Saturday morning.
Quickly look down at your hands - make a circle with your thumb & index finger to make a lowercase “d” with your right hand and a lowercase “b” with your left hand. This sets up your place setting. The “b” stands for a bread plate which goes to the left of the plate and the “d” drinking glasses are set to the right of the dinner plate. Another way to remember this is BMW - or “bread, meal, water” and set the table in that order.
Glassware can be as simple or complex as you like - depending on the occasion. Every setting should have a glass for water or tea and usually closest to the plate. I use the water glass to anchor the placemat. This helps your guest know which glass is theirs. Wine glasses can have a stem or be stemless. I use both. Stems look pretty on the table but stemless can be more practical & less likely to get broken. I was at a dinner party once where the hostess didn’t have a single stemmed wine glass left at the end of the night.
If you are enjoying a little bubbly sparkling wine before dinner or celebrating with a toast, flute glasses are nice to use. They can also have stems or be stemless. The flutes aren’t always set with the table. They can be handed to your guest upon arrival or brought to the table for a toast.
Under the glasses on the right side, are the knife and spoon. The knife is placed closest to the plate with the blade pointing inward. The soup spoon is placed on the outside of the knife. If you aren’t serving soup, the spoon can be used for dessert.
The bread plate is set to the left side of the dinner plate. Remember your lowercase “b” fingers? You may use this plate for bread, dessert, or salad depending on your meal. Bread isn’t always served but the extra plate is nice for any discarded items. If the plate is used for salad, it might be stacked on the dinner plate to indicate that salad is the first course. If the plate is used for dessert this can be shown by placing the spoon above the dessert plate. If your table is small, you are welcome to deliver the dessert plate and spoon at that course time.
Below the bread plate are the forks to the left side of the dinner plate. The forks are set in the order of course servings - working from the outside inward. The main course fork is always closest to the dinner plate. The salad fork, which is smaller, is set toward the outside. If you are not serving salad but rather a dessert best eaten with a fork - smaller salad forks can be used and possibly not set with the table. Here’s a winning trivia question for you - the only fork set on the right side of the plate is an oyster fork!
Cloth napkins are a nice touch for any meal. They can be folded in a variety of creative ways but I believe that napkin rings are table jewelry so I like to use them. Napkins should be ironed neatly for a formal table or nice gathering - but a trick is to fold them as soon as you can from the dryer. Fold them crisply and they should keep a nice shape for use on any informal table.
Take a few minutes to set your table for instant polish!
Bye Now.
Resume Preparation
The start of new year is a great time to create a resume or revisit the one you have. Your resume isn’t just a document; it’s your personal marketing tool in the professional world. Crafting it well is not just about listing education and employment; it’s about strategically showcasing your unique story and the value you can bring to any opportunity. Your resume becomes the roadmap for a cover letter, interview, and elevator pitch.
Telling your professional story isn’t just a skill; it’s an art and gives you a competitive edge. In a world saturated with candidates, your narrative sets you apart, turning your journey into a compelling tale of expertise, growth, and undeniable impact you make. Open doors to your dream opportunity by turning your cover letter into a powerhouse of professional strengths. It’s not just a letter; it’s your chance to boldly declare your knowledge, experiences, service, and unique abilities.
If you have an existing resume - I encourage to print it and keep the copy in your desk drawer. Somewhere easily accessible so that you can record the great things you are doing throughout the year. You’ll be glad you did when it is time to update the official document.
Whether you are starting a fresh resume or updating an existing one. The first step is to start making lists. Sitting in front of the resume template can be very overwhelming when trying to think of everything you’ve done. Start by making a list: on your phone, on a legal pad, in a new document. The point is to list everything that you can think of. It is always easier to pair down the information versus pulling it out of thin air. Don’t worry if this resume is for your first job application or a significant career move. All of this can be the same for education or time spent as a long standing member of one organization.
List your education first. All degrees, certifications, and training.Then move on to employment. Start thinking of everything you were responsible for in this position.What projects did you complete? What responsibilities outside of the job description did you take on? Don’t just consider the technical parts of the job, but also the soft skills and relationships you built. Did you gain empathy or a new perspective in this job? Has that impacted your decision making abilities
Try to list the top 3 skills you learned during the job. Be specific about how you got them. Can you think of a story or example for each skill listed? Were you recognized for your value added. These experiences become rich content for your cover letter and interview.
Include a list of your service. It can be volunteerism, civic duties, church, or neighborliness. Start a list of ways you are giving backin your area of expertise or interest. If you aren’t serving or sharing your knowledge with others. I encourage you to start. True professionals understand that service back to the industry adds a rich dynamic to their career and relationships.
The same is true for professional memberships. Most professions have a society and membership of some kind. Do some research and find yours. Professional societies make tremendous efforts to develop their members, provide opportunities, and produce best practices through governance. Societies are always eager to get new members and provide pathways for involvement. You will not only learn more about your profession but have opportunities for service and building your career network.
Now, list what you didn’t like about the job. Where did you really struggle? How did you overcome the barriers? How were you ever pushed past your comfort zone? These answers aren’t going on the resume documentso don’t worry about censoring your feelings. The answer to these questions begin shaping your professional narrative and steering the interview conversation. Know which areas to highlight and which areas to avoid are great to consider before sitting in the interview.
Start a list of how you deal with the stresses and obligations that came with your degree or job position. It is unrealistic to not have stress and overwhelm at times. Be able to articulate this. A common interview question is “What ways do you handle the stress and time commitments that come with these achievements?” This is a great place to be self aware and articulate the hobbies and activities that give you balance and rejuvenation. Remember, these aren’t written on the official document. However, they are crafting the professional narrative that helps communicate your achievements.
A few housekeeping tasks to think of: create a professional email address, if you don’t have one. It is never a good idea to apply for a position using your current company's email. Also, don’t use a student email that you may lose access to in the near future. Make certain that your email address is professional and doesn’t include nicknames or anything suggestive. When emailing your documents - include a clear and concise subject line that includes your name and the position you’ve applied for.
Check your social media and profiles before sending out your resume. Even though accounts are private; this is a great time to start considering your online presence and image. If you don’t have a LinkedIn profile page, the work on the resume and cover letter give you the content for an impressive profile.
Spend time now getting into the weedy specifics. The specific names of your degrees or certifications. The full name of organizations. The dates and locations of professional development events, conferences, or trips. Do the same for departmental specifics for any internships or clinical time.
Think about who you will use as a reference and begin gathering their information. When thinking of references: never consider family or someone you’ve never met. Take the time now to ask this person’s permission to use them. This isn’t always your immediate supervisor. Most often, you don’t want your supervisor to know you are sending out resumes. Consider those who have seen you grow in your positions. Please get their permission before adding them to your documents. If it has been a while since you sent out a resume, a reminder call or email is polite.
These details can become overwhelming once inside the resume template. Gather them now to provide a complete and impressive resume.
Once you have the specifics of your education, employment, and service; print the job description, admission’s essay requirements, or scholarship parameters. Then, I want you to find the company or institution’s mission, vision, and values statement on their website. Ask yourself if you share these values and how you can express this in your written and verbal communications. Take a look at their social media presence as well. Look on their pages for recent events, initiatives, or celebrations. Once again, we are finding overlap and themes that navigate interview discussions.
Now, look through every bullet point of the job description or scholarship requirements and find overlap with your lists. Start articulating how your experiences transfer to the requirements. Can you give concrete examples of your relevant knowledge or work? Think of specific experiences that make you a strong candidate. This allows you to express confidence in your ability to contribute to the company’s or institution’s success without sounding overly boastful.
Bye Now.
Hannah Berger Building - 211 South Main Building History
The 200 block of South Main was dense woodland in 1880, but in 1881, the railroad arrived in Jonesboro, which called for the development of businesses in the area between the railroad and the courthouse. The 1903-04 City Directory lists the location as the Kentucky Exchange Saloon - one of eight saloons on South Main.
From 1906 to 1915, 211 South Main was under the ownership of Hannah Berger, whose story, until now, has gone untold in both the history of Downtown Jonesboro and the local Jewish community. Hannah (1884-1916) was the daughter of Austrian immigrants Marcus and Henrietta Berger, who were pioneers in the Jonesboro Jewish community. Marcus (1844-1906) arrived in Arkansas in 1883 and after setting up shop in Walnut Ridge with Isaac Less, he moved to Jonesboro and opened the area’s first wholesale supply house that drew customers from a 75-mile radius because prices were as low as those in St. Louis. Marcus played a leading role in establishing a synagogue for the Reform Jewish congregation. Temple Israel was dedicated on January 1, 1898, and a religious school immediately followed; Hannah Berger and Moses Sachs were the first to be confirmed in 1899.
Census records for both 1910 and 1920 list Hannah in the household of her widowed mother with no occupation, so one can assume from the additional listing of servants that she was simply a socialite. However, newspaper articles and ads from the early twentieth century reveal that she was actually a successful property owner and manager. The Jonesboro Evening Sun reported on August 6, 1906 - exactly six months after the death of Marcus - that a new business block featuring a four-store building was being constructed by Hannah Berger. The brick and concrete building was to “be for the purpose of retail business houses on the first floors and offices in the upper floors.”
A constant movement of businesses in and out of 211 South Main - along with the other three stores at 213, 215, and 217 South Main - designate Miss Berger as one of the early proponents of pop-up shops. A variety of businesses offered dry goods, suits and overcoats, furniture, glass blowing gallery, and millinery. A teaser printed in The Jonesboro Daily Tribune stated, “Don’t fail to see the beautiful glass dress, made entirely of spun glass, this week only.”
The temporary rental business served Hannah well, though, because in 1912, the Jonesboro Evening Sun reported that she purchased a resident lot on the corner of Main Street and Warner Avenue for $2,600 - one of the highest prices paid in years for one of the most beautiful resident lots in the city.
With so many contacts in the retail industry, it is easy to imagine that Miss Berger was introduced to a host of Jewish businessmen, one of whom finally caught her eye. Carl Strauss was a successful clothing manufacturer and local hero in St. Louis. In March 1914, the Missouri Athletic Club caught on fire, killing more than forty people and topping the list of deadliest blazes in the city’s history. Strauss, who was staying at the club, managed to lead “half a dozen of his fellow club members to safety through the smoke-filled halls.” Interestingly, Strauss’s other claim to fame was being shot by his scorned lover after she learned of his engagement to Hannah. She told police that Strauss had promised to marry her and for the past seven years had paid her expenses and introduced her as his wife upon checking into hotels. Strauss did not press charges, and Hannah stood by his side through the ordeal.
The two were married in November 1914 and moved to St. Louis in 1915. On December 24, 1915, their infant child was brought by train from St. Louis to be buried in the Temple Israel Cemetery, and a few weeks later, Hannah Berger Strauss was also laid to rest alongside her father and child in Jonesboro’s Jewish cemetery.
After Hannah moved to St. Louis in 1915, the area was designated the New Berger Block, but the opening and closing of shops did not slow under the direction of her brother Alex Berger.
It would be over one hundred years before a lady’s name would grace the building as Eleanor’s Pizzeria. Now, the 211 South Main Loft D is home to Veronica Guinn Etiquette, in great hopes that a lady’s name will bring success and continue the downtown legacy of Hannah Berger’s female entrepreneurship.
This excerpt is from extensive research by the brilliant Lindsay Penn and her work in Heritage Studies. Lindsay is a dear friend and shared her research of the building when I purchased the loft in 2019.
